The first person you should love!

Love is a beautiful feeling - say some. 
Love is like walking on fire - say many. 

Love has many meanings and understandings and yet it has none. Everyone tries to explain love exactly how they perceive it as. What’s amazing is to see so many variations in the concept of love. Maybe, humans tend to mold it as per their terms and understandings(?). Whatever the word might mean to you; it can easily be said that it’d surely be something bittersweet.

Jahn pyar hai, wahn taqrar bhee hai – ansu bhi (kabhi kabhi). Lehaza ye kehna ghalat na hoga k pyar ek sumandar ki manind hai – jisk maaini ki teh tak pohanchna khasa mushkil hai … lkn na mumkin nahi.

What is love?

Love is basically a reaction in the brain and heart to accept someone as they are and adore them unconditionally – for animals. For humans, love is rather like a connection. Sometimes, it weakens and breaks off like the typical internet connections these days. Other times, it just sticks – like those Japanese sticky rice they serve at Novu, Lahore. You can never be sure who to love and who not to. There’s just so much at the risk whether you want someone or reject them.

So the question arises … what truly is love for humans?

Is it the shy smile we give when we get a glance of our crush who literally has no idea we exist? Is it like a sun breaking through the darkness against all odds just to shine brightly? Or is it the darkness swallowing the sun every night just so the moon could pastelize the sky? Maybe, it’s sitting at a hilltop staring down at the city lights that twinkle like stars with someone? Is it sacrificing everything you hold dear for someone? Is it making sure that your individuality stays intact just as the other person’s (as per D. H. Lawerence’s idea presented in “Women in Love”)? Is it maybe it’s making someone a cup of chai? Or maybe, just maybe, it’s valuing someone more than your regular cup of chai (jisk bina sir dard ho jata hai).

The answer is simple – love is anything and everything that makes you feel complete. While some believe their interests shouldn’t have to suffer just because they are in love with someone, others sacrifice as they wish to gratify their loved one which in turn gratifies their need to please them. Thus, love comes in all shapes, sizes and colors with only one goal … gratification for being needed by someone else. Lkn what if you’re the person who needs you the most? Anyhow, you can never be sure k kahn dil phisal jaega.

What if?

The what ifs in our heads just never stop – do they? What if I reject this person and the person I am after isn’t this nice? What if I tell someone I like them and it ruins our friendship? What if s/he is interested in me and I have to say yes just for the sake of our friendship?

The point is that there is a lot at stake because we aren’t sure who to love and who to let go. Therefore, it is essential that you are clear on this particular point in question.

The first person we should love!

The first person we fall in love with is someone we are most vulnerable to. It is someone we can do anything for and that too a thousand times over. No regrets, no complaints – that person is the one for whom you’d even let go of your self esteem. No ego, no necessary or unnecessary mood swings, no curses for them even when they rip your heart out and stomp on it publicly. It’s kinda fun, if you’re a masochist.

Anyhow, coming back to the topic at hand. The first person you should love with all your heart and being like the galaxies love the stars – should be yourself!

No one, I repeat, no one should have the power to control your emotions. No one should have the ability to use you as per their desires; emotional, financial or physical. No one should be able to make you feel bad about yourself. Only you should have that right. No other human being.

You are your own Star Dust!

Did you know that hemoglobin constitutes of four Fe (iron) atoms? Iron was never produced on Earth in the beginning, in fact, it was the gravity that attracted millions of piece of a supernova to land on Earth. Originally, iron came into existence because the red giant, a star, started to convert all of its Helium atoms into Carbon and Oxygen. As dope as it may sound, it was quite an aggressive phenomena that led C and O to go through something similar to a reduction reaction. Consequently, iron came into being. It was the heaviest atom a star could ever produce. Miraculous, no? So, anyhow, the star exploded and became part of the universe.

Iron was originally produced because of a dying star that shattered and spread into a million pieces. Now, look at your wrist and observe the vein with a greenish-blue color. Can you see it?

That right there is hemoglobin, dear reader! A total of 70% of your body is Iron. You carry star dust in your being, every red blood cell you have is filled with a pinch of star. You ARE A STAR and your blood is the proof.

Therefore, every time you look at your veins with something sharp in your hand just because someone led you to a point to do so – remember that you are made of all things special and no one can make you anything less.

First love as you (?)

Although, I have put forth a lot of efforts and words to make you understand that you ought to love yourself before someone else. You must be thinking why. Right?

There’s a pattern, in our society, you see. Children are often given responsibilities bigger than their shoulders can handle and, thus, begins the start of putting others before us. I have seen so many people falling for someone who’s just nice to them for the sake of decency. They often end up getting hurt or abused.

The problem is that humans end up thinking it is okay for them to be stomped at. We are all so desperate for a connection, to feel needed, that we forget that if we can’t love our self – no one can. We tend to ignore our own value just to please someone else and that is exactly which makes it hurt so badly. In time, we realize the other person can never reciprocate at our level because we ourselves pushed our level to a point so lower that they can’t see us in the same light as we see them.

Understand the difference between someone showing you that they love you and someone being humane towards you. Moreover, make sure that you are your own first love. If you are able to love yourself and prioritize your respect & value over anything else (not supporting narcissism here) – everyone around you would do so to. And always remember – you are ENOUGH for yourself. No one else can or will complete you until you do so yourself first.

Plus, pssst, your first love would actually be your last - 
if you learn to love yourself before you are your own past. 

P.S: if someone has already had the pleasure of being your first love – it’s okay … be your last love. Be the person you can rely on and be honest to without needing someone else to show your vulnerabilities to. Learn to be you, before you learn to be who!

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