“Ever since we were little she’d beat us for whatever, whenever and where-ever. She has some wretched sense of self-righteousness since like forever. She wanted us to achieve academically as well as socially.”
We, siblings, have had a zillions debates on the traditional figure of a mother induced within our minds. Does a figure like that truly exist or is it just something the people came up with? Because if a mother like that exists—my mother isn’t that at all. I remember wanting to be her mother and beating her when I grew up. I remember writing her a letter when I was in 3rd grade in which I wished we could have been stillborn when we were pulled out of her womb.
I wished death upon us and told her how she didn’t deserve children. The outcome was a lecture by my father telling me how I was being a pessimist and do not see the love behind her anger. I believe that is the dilemma of our society. We all fall for ‘the love behind anger’, we are delusional. We as a nation, society and traditionalists forget the difference between oppression and love.
Anyway, moving on, as we grew up—she limited the beatings to when we would question her. A ‘why’ to mama wasn’t allowed at our place. We were never the type of children who are spoiled by their parents. We have grown up listening to their chants like “Waldain k haqooq etc.”. If, ever, we put forth a question about children rights – we crossed a line and ended up being insulted.
At present, I am in my twenties and a sucker for love, acceptance and a broken heart. I’ve tested the waters of love and failed. Why? Because I have been made to submit to whatever one throws at me and oblige them which leads to me wanting to escape and them getting bored.
Today, I am emotionally unstable, suicidal and a bipolar person. In anger, I either want to kill myself or break something. And guess what I break? Myself! Haha. Every living second by killing my expectations towards the humankind and getting a little more numb everyday.
I have been a victim to more than just emotional abuse in my childhood and would anyone question my mother for it?
However, I do realise that if someone saw me with a guy or outside without my family—I will be questioned. Is this what children are born to be?Robots?
Subject to dictatorship?
The writer of this piece wishes to be anonymous and so that person shall remain – mostly because even we don’t know which one of the 4 different people who have the password wrote this. You can be added to the list, if you want.
Coming back to the topic at hand – again – people go for succulents to chia pets if you wish to assume dominance over someone to feel better about yourself. We don’t know why the mother in this piece did as she did but what we do know is the hurt her child holds now and guess what? It will be staying there forever.
If you mock your children for fun and they start crying – even that affects their growth and development. This is because you are hindering their self confidence and making them feel vulnerable for your entertainment … that too is emotional abuse! Beware.